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Joke of the Day

"Pope Innocent is an oxymoron"

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"If your rape whistle doesn't work you're fucked."
"I was walking down the street earlier and saw two kids fighting As an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance."
"What did Ray Rice say the first time he met his girlfriend? ""Dayuum. I'd hit that."""
"Just bet myself that the guy walking ahead of me was rocking a mustache. Won. Rewarded myself with the delusion that I live a full life."
"In a serious water shortage /r/showerthoughts should be shut down."
"What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner? Watson the menu"
"My favorite prostitute told me she was a licensed psychologist... Blew my mind."
"What's red and silly? A blood clot."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cyprus ! Cyprus who ? Cyprus the bell !"