146749

Joke of the Day

"It's about time we, as a sophisticated society, start getting birds to wear diapers."

"I had lots of cheese but no crackers... I was cracka-lackin."

"Writing my first book, I got stuck on the details... ...ended up haiku."

"The second I feel pressured to do something, I'm out of there faster than a dog who hears his name and knows it's bath time."

"When they were saying ""we will find a good home for him"" I thought they were talking about the dog,I didn't know they were talking about me!"

"He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory."

"Donald Trump has been saying he will run for president as a Republican. Which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke."

"White people colonized 34 of the world looking for spices and they still can't season their food right."

"The girls that say that all guys want is sex, are usually the ones who have only that to offer."

"The average life insurance policy is $100,000. How much is the policy for a white supremacist? 3k."