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Joke of the Day

"The second I feel pressured to do something, I'm out of there faster than a dog who hears his name and knows it's bath time."

"A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre... so the barman gives her one."

"Dear guy sitting next to me at the bar wearing camouflage: I can still see you."

"Do something nice for your ex today, take them out. One bullet should do the trick."

"Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike."

"Instead of smiling and nodding through a conversation, try clapping and nodding. People will stop talking to you."

"It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open."

"For pimps, prostitution must be alot like using pawn pieces in chess... They use them to do their dirty work, in promise that he'll one day make her into a queen."

"What do you call an online relationship? E-bae... I'll see myself out"

"I have a joke about unemployed people But it won't work."