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Joke of the Day

"Excuse miss can you tell me does this rag smell like chloroform?"

"Back away slowly from the uncaffeinated woman."

"I tried to join the mile high club once But nobody gave a flying fuck."

"So a vegan crossfitter and a homophobic priest simultaneously walk in to a bar.. Then they both went to the hospital for head wounds."

"What's the difference between batman and a black man? Batman can go out in the night without robin.^Sorry!"

"My blonde girlfriend froze In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative facial expression. "" oh..I saw this on youporn"" she said,"" they call it bufferring""."

"Two tips for faster jogging- (1) hot girl in front of you; (2) creepy dude behind you. Also, if you're behind a (1) you're probably her (2)."

"I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy."

"The Canadian election consists of two men apologizing till one concedes, the winner is then elected king of Canada. Or something like that."

"My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji."