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Joke of the Day

"Why do white girls help fight heartburn? Because they're so basic."

"If at first you don't succeed.. .. skydiving probably isn't for you anyway."

"A magician begins pulling scarf after scarf after scarf out of his front tuxedo pocket until Steven Tyler slowly fades away from all photos."

"It would be cool if a jar of Nutella had more than one serving in it..."

"Ok, I have two short jokes and one long joke... Joke joke jooooooooooooooooooooooooke!"

"Heard about the public speaker with the rodent up his butt? He had to cancel a speech because he was gerbily constipated."

"Do you remember the name of the Italian/Vietnamese restaurant we went to? Yeah! It was great, how could I ""Pho-get-abouttit"""

"*uses blood from wounds to write my killer's name on the floor* I...will be...avenged. NO! BAD DOG! DON'T LICK THAT! DADDY NEEDS JUSTICE!"

"Having a sexual fetish for shirts is wrong... The bible says ""Adam and Eve"", not ""penis in the sleeve""!"

"Just because you can't dance, doesn't mean you shouldn't dance! *this fb status had been approved and paid for by Alcohol"