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Joke of the Day

"It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. I've learned to hate fun because I want a super buff face."

Next Joke
 
"What's the oldest red wine in America? ""Give us back our land!"""
"My fiancee asked me why I always back into parking spots... I told her ""guys typically want to just pull out"". She was not amused."
"It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are. Preposterous."
"If you want a pretty nurse, you've got to be patient."
"What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme."
"what are pee wee herman's favorite baseball teams? yanks and the expos"
"What's the best way to fuck a red-headed virgin? gingerly (wrote this today, if anyone has ever heard it or can find a past use, I am dying to know)"
"Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty."
"A woman was battered over breakfast ...it was waffle :("
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