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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme."

"My Vietnamese friends just got married. They have the same common last name, so neither of them needed to change anything. You could say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation."

"I hope this Hurricane is a Joaquin the park ;)"

"Hey dad, did you get a haircut? No son, I got all of 'em cut"

"""Aw man, who's going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?"" ""Elijah Would."""

"My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted."

"What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!"

"I just finished deadlifting 1000 pounds off the ground. For you Americans, that's 1275 dollars. It's my most expensive lift to date."

"Why do people keep building so many new mausoleums? Because people are dying to get in."

"I dressed up as an enema for Halloween It really scares the crap out of people."