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Joke of the Day

"I don't always tell Dad jokes, but when I do, he tells me to get my fucking life together and stop being a disappointment."

"What connects the computers in Sauron's office? A Tolkien Ring network."

"Someone asked me where I will be in 5 years? I said I don't know, I dont have 20/20 vision. Compliments to my dad for that one."

"I like my slaves like I like my eggs. Beaten."

"They finally came out with a white PS4! I mean the black one runs fast but it never works."

"When you're trying to be cheesy But everyone around you is lactose intolerant"

"What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!"

"I've never understood people who don't drink because it's ""bad for you"" Honestly, I think they should lighten up and liver little."

"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit making 'Airplane' refrences"