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Joke of the Day

"Someone asked me where I will be in 5 years? I said I don't know, I dont have 20/20 vision. Compliments to my dad for that one."

"People that have their kids on a leash get very defensive when you pet them."

"By 98 to 1, U.S. Senate passes amendment saying climate change is real, not a hoax."

"My brother was in a car accident yesterday... and lost both his left arm and left leg. Actually, he's my half brother. He's all right now."

"My brother's joke I went to the zoo the other day and there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu!"

"DONT SIT IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR EXAMINING YOUR FLAWS. QUIT IT. THEY ARENT REALLY THERE. ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD. BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE!!!"

"Did you hear the outcome of Bernie Sanders recent doctor's visit? He tested positive for Chlamydia after /r/Jokes entire user base felt the bern in their throats."

"I asked my friend if it was intended for him to cheese the pizza joke. ""Nope Unintended"""

"We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was ""Kevin"""

"I didn't know what to wear the the premature ejaculators meeting... So I just came in my pants."