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Joke of the Day

"A blind woman once told me.. A blind woman once told me I had a nice girth on my cock. But I think she was just pulling my leg."

"What's the best defense against Britney Spears? Brooke Shields."

"Storks leave cute babies. Crows leave ugly babies. Swallows leave no babies!"

"When you say ""liar liar pants on fire,"" it makes you a liar too. Their pants probably aren't on fire"

"*1st date* ""Nothing's sexier than a man who can surprise me & make me laugh"" *cut to me in her closet in a clown suit* ""Hellooo soulmate"""

"Priests should not have to live in a state of forced celibacy, but be free to marry and let celibacy slowly descend upon them the usual way."

"A woman walks into a green grocers. She asks the man behind the counter for a cucumber. He asks her: ""Whole or sliced?"" She replies: ""I've got a fanny, not a fucking slot machine!"""

"People say there is safety in numbers... Tell that to 6,000,000 jews."

"What is green and flying over Poland? Peter Panski"

"Customer service stopped recording my calls for training purposes. There's nothing to be learned from that much profanity."