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Joke of the Day

"DATE IDEA: We stay in our respective homes and watch different shows on Netflix. And also that was a fake phone number I gave you."

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"holy shit imagine a crab bringing you breakfast on a tray like a lil waiter"
"What do you call a Mexican who acts like a white person? A Juan-a-be"
"""if i die young bury in me in starbucks lay me down on a bed of coffee beans"" the white girl writes in her will"
"What do you get when you teach Android grammar? A droid"
"Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys? Because they soot him!"
"What happens when you combine an alpha particle and a beta particle? They become alpha-beta-cle"
"What did batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? ""Robin, get in the batmobile!"""
"My girlfriend said to me... ""If one day, you want to run away, just let me know..."" Turns out she meant together."
"Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it's an intervention."