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Joke of the Day

"Every time I visit my parents, I send the kids in first so they can signal me if it's an intervention."

"Just got back from my wild New Years Eve outing and shoveled my parents sidewalks. 'Cause that's the way middle-aged white guys roll. Yo."

"I'm finally part of the cool crowd! *waddles off with colony of penguins*"

"Names that when read out loud sound dirty Hue Janis Hue Jazz Dixie Normous Jack Mehoff Mike Hawk Phil Mahooters Philip Mabung"

"Why didn't the two introverts go camping? Because it's two fucking in tents."

"Q: You are traveling into the past, what one thing would you bring back? SEXY. I am so getting an A on this History paper."

"Who is the richest person in the Bible? The Pharao's daughter. She went to the bank of the Nile to pick up a little prophet."

"I accidenty said Hi to a feminist the other day... My court case starts tomorrow"

"Grading system for students in India: A - Average B - Below average C - Can't have dinner D - Don't come home F - Find a new family"

"A giant fly has attacked the city. Quick! Somebody call the swat team!"