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Joke of the Day
"Brain: We've got lots to do today. Body: You're on your own buddy."
Next Joke
"What's the hardest part of a cabbage to eat? The wheelchair."
"""Haha, Imagine Dragons. What a dumb band name."" -Neutral Milk Hotel fans"
"Why is the Flying Spaghetti Monster made of Pasta? Because ""made of bread"" was already taken by Jesus."
"Doctor told me I'm getting overweight Crap I thought eating disorder was bad enough!"
"Bowtie pasta is the most handsome of all the pastas."
"Whenever a girl refuses to tell a magician her age, he cuts her in half to count the rings."
"got kicked out of cub scouts as a kid... for eating a brownie..."
"I heard there's a woman going about with twelve nipples. Sounds absurd. Dozen tit."
"Wife: ""I'm going to bed, honey."" Husband: ""Okay, sweetheart. I'll go get you a tylenol."" Wife: ""But why? I don't have a headache."" Husband: ""Great! Let's fuck."""