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Joke of the Day

"i don't think i'll ever get the recognition i deserve for being the world's biggest pessimistic narcissist"

"bleakest Russian joke i know ""children! Your father hanged himself for some peace and quiet, not so you could have a swing-set!"""

"My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast."

"""Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior?"" ""No."" ""Why not, sir?"" ""Because, it would make my rabbi sad."""

"Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish? It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish."

"What's Sarah Jessica Parker's favorite dance move? The Neigh Neigh."

"I love how racism works they blame black guys for stealing because they can't see anything in the dark"

"Anytime I fly over the exact spot a time zone changes, I yell ""88 MILES PER HOUR!!!!"""

"Why do marine biologists have such a high job satisfaction rate? Because they find their work gives their lives a great deal of porpoise."

"Q: Why did the elephants go on a diet? A: Because they had too much junk in the trunk."