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Joke of the Day

"I once had an epileptic fit during my turn at a game of charades. Everyone just kept yelling, ""HOW MANY WORDS?"" and ""IS IT THE EXORCIST?""."

"I've been squeezing the last drop of toothpaste from this tube for over a month now."

"What do you call an overpriced and overhyped game? No Man's Sky."

"I don't need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands. :/"

".@Starbucks it is 2014 why don't you sell pickles"

"When asked, 'Are you Twittering?' if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet."

"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey... But then I turned myself around."

"All the kids..... All the kids wrote poems, except for Johnny, he couldn't rhyme"

"Just came up with this one Q:Why do black people despise environmental studies? A:Cause they always get hung up on trees."

"What do people with an extra chromosome wash their clothes with? Downy."