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Joke of the Day
"I was peeing in the pool the other day... The lifeguard yelled at me so loudly, I nearly fell in."
Next Joke
"If they can make crunchy peanut butter, surely they can make crunchy butter."
"I'm having a completely dry January... ...no foreplay whatsoever. (Stolen from Gary Delaney's show this evening - great show Gary!)"
"Why do drummers carry transparent lunchboxes? So they know if they are going to the gig, or coming from it. Ta-boom!"
"Ronda Rousey and I have something in common We both finish in 34 seconds."
"There are three types of people... Those who can count, and those who can't."
"The Jedi know what we're getting for Christmas They have sensed our presents"
"Sometimes I just like to switch off I think that's why I lost my job in the Intensive Care Unit"
"IF I WIN THE LOTTERY MY CATS ARE GETTING GOLD TEETH AND CANOPY BEDS"
"I submitted a group of puns to a pun judging contest hoping one of them would win. No pun in ten did."