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Joke of the Day

"IF I WIN THE LOTTERY MY CATS ARE GETTING GOLD TEETH AND CANOPY BEDS"

"While making small talk with my wife's doctor I asked him what he does for a living because I am amazing at human interaction."

"What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad"

"How do we know that Greek yogurt's Greek? Because it's whey strained."

"Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? It was Valenswine's Day."

"Damn girl are you a Rubik's cube? Because fuck you, you stupid piece of shit."

"Apparently the unbuttoning of a shirt and letting your hair down for a cop only works for women."

"Only 3 more STD's to go until I get my own MTV reality show!!!!!!"

"Who's driving? A mexican and black guy are in a car. Who's driving? Answer: The police officer"

"Hi, I'm starting a support group for people who have trouble reaching orgasm... If you can't cum let me know."