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Joke of the Day
"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar It was tense"
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"I have a deeply religious Muslim friend who knows the Qu'ran back to front Which is the way that the Koran is written. A surprisingly well informed joke about Islam (with apologies to Jimmy Carr)."
"Minecraft isn't wheelchair assessable."
"Morpheus, what happens if I take both pills? I'll pay you for them."
"Q: What's the shortest book ever written? A: French War Heroes."
"""The 59th rule of Fight Club is, we cant park in the lot on Vermont anymore - The owner is being a jerk. Just find street parking. 60th..."""
"I'm tired of saving Daylight... You would think that saving his ass every year you would at least deserve a 'thank you'"
"My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night. She nearly took my fucking eye out."
"Strangers get so paranoid when they catch you stirring a mysterious powder into their drink."
"The brain is a amazing organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from the day you are born until you see your first woman naked."