100467

Joke of the Day

"I'm tired of saving Daylight... You would think that saving his ass every year you would at least deserve a 'thank you'"

"How do you know when your girlfriend is to young? When you have to make the aeroplane noise to get your cock in her mouth."

"TIL Doug Liman will be directing an adaptation of the Passion story for 2017, with Matt Damon as Jesus Christ. Bourne is the King of Israel!"

"Every week I buy healthy fruits & vegetables and every week I throw out spoiled fruits & vegetables because I like steak."

"Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

"What do liberal arts majors yell when overwhelmed? Oh,the humanities!"

"Pretty girls with ugly laughs : nature's way of preserving the balance"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Black and ground up in the freezer."

"Paul Walker proves god is real ! Paul Walker was meant to walk, but he took a car and god punished him for not walking. This proves that - Atheist: 0 Theist: 1"

"A lady walks into a bar... Sits down and says to the bartender ""give me a double."" He asks ""what'll it be?"" She replies ""make it an entedre."" So he gave it to her."