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Joke of the Day
"Morpheus, what happens if I take both pills? I'll pay you for them."
Next Joke
"Do you know who has the most home runs in MLB history? Barry Bonds... Do you know who leads the MLB in strikeouts pitched? Nolan Ryan... Do you know who has been hit by the most balls? Liberaci"
"Even if you're single, always blame a declined credit card on your fictional spouse at the register."
"Did you hear about the Mexicans that robbed the train museum? I don't know why they did it but they must have had a pretty 'loco' motive."
"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? The canoe occasionally tips."
"Is that mine? I was walking down the street when I saw black guy with a laptop. Is that mine? I thought. It looks exactly like mine... but that can't be... Mine should be at home cleaning my shoes."
"""I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life... ...What they don't tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning you juicer."" -Kyle Dunnigan-"
"Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans."
"If your girlfriend starts smoking slow down or apply lubricant"
"What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed? Hairy Potter."