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Joke of the Day

"Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that."

"A bald man was once presented with a comb as a gift... He said, ""I'll never part with it."""

"I found my first gray pube the other day. It was in a kebab."

"I'm not even sure I remember how to have sex without holding my phone."

"why do people insist D&D players are squares? I mean, they party all the time!"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool *badum pssssh*"

"Until you lean in to hear a seven-year-old's whisper, you don't realize that front teeth act as a retaining wall for spit."

"Officer: You were speeding. Me: I am trying to keep up with traffic. O: There Is no traffic. M: I am really far behind."

"Why can't Spongebob make the honor roll? Because he's a C sponge!"

"What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache? I falafel."