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Joke of the Day

"I dated this metal chick once It was all cool for the first month, but then she started to rust."

"Hear about the guy that built a car out of a bank vault? He wanted to be a safe driver."

"My sister won a horse pulling contest She went so fast she nearly fell off her stool."

"Did you hear the joke about Melania Trump? Yeah sorry. You've probably heard it before."

"My husband said I was unfeminine, so I socked him in the mouth."

"What's blue and hangs from a tree in my yard? Its my nigger, I can paint him whatever color I want."

"The rape advice hotline hung up on me today... Apparently ""How do I stop them from blowing a rape whistle?"" wasn't a valid question"

"I'm in the Guinness book. Not the world records one, the one at the brewery that's says which people are not allowed back."

"Someone die? Time to get high! Come on down to Barry's Death Emporium where we put the FUN in funeral and the RAVE in grave! (BYO shovel)"

"Age 20: ""You free for lunch?"" ""Yeah, meet you there now."" Age 30: ""You free for lunch?"" ""Yes, let's schedule it in for 3 weeks from now."""