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Joke of the Day
"What do Rick Ross and a dominatrix have in common? They're both interested in whips and chains."
Next Joke
"Just flew in from a masturbation convention... Man my arm is tired."
"Hey Doorknob, if I wanted something in my life that was hairy, condescending and using me for food, I would get a cat."
"What is an astronaut's favorite meal? Launch"
"Wal-Mart Announced It Will No Longer Sell Confederate Flag-related Products As a result, it has also announced it will close 1000 stores by 2016."
"Just another Saturday night at home alternating between sweet and salty snacks until I disgust myself enough to go to bed."
"I own the world only talking dog... but he only talks about outer layers of trees."
"Baby you must be a vector image... Cause no matter how close I look you're still perfect."
"RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust"
"Text your friends but leave voicemails for your enemies."