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Joke of the Day

"It's been so long, I can't even remember why rock, paper & scissors started fighting."

"Talk Like A Pirate Day Here's my impersonation of a pirate: *ahem* Look at me. Look at me. I'm the captain now."

"Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to? Pupil: Nobody I know!"

"A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef. The butcher replies: ""Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"""

"Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus."

"Her: hear that? Me: nope Her: what if someone's is trying to get in to murder me? Me: only person that wants to murder you is already inside"

"Great Russian Joke What's the difference between a shark and Vladimir Putin? The shark kills to eat, while Putin kills to ""AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!"" ""Thump"" ...silence..."

"what do you call a snail on a ship? A SNAILOR"

"Can you even work your smartphone? In what capacity?"

"Why did the blind kid fail geometry? He didnt see the point."