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Joke of the Day
"First date with a hummingbird: You're moving too fast."
Next Joke
"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A 1/4 pounder with cheese"
"What's the hardest thing about roller blading? Hearing that fucking joke all day."
"A man visits his psychiatrist wearing only cellophane wrapped around his body The psychiatrist says ""I can clearly see your nuts."""
"""Bear with me"" -A Russian bear trainer"
"Me: It's late. I guess I'll go to bed. -My brain, who up until now has always been the logical one ""Let's put up a tent in the living room"""
"What's the one thing Spider-Man can't eat? Uncle Ben's rice"
"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far, she's only getting a McChicken."
"When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with"
"Sarah Palin and Donald Trump served PB&J sandwiches at his last political rally because if you go to one of those, you're not allergic to nuts"