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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to a costume party wearing only pants. The host asks what he is. The man says premature ejaculation... Because I came in my pants."

"You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning."

"You can't die, man! Not right now. Not on my watch! *lifts dead body and pulls watch put from under it*"

"making it rain (CHEETOS) in the club (my bedroom)"

"If you send her a message and she doesn't reply in six months she is probably thinking about it"

"Why do crows fly upside down over Reservations? Cause even they know that indians get enough free shit!"

"My girlfriend is like a motorcycle I dont have a motorcycle"

"What did the Polack and the Native American name their first kid? Running Stupid"

"ME: these gummy bears are delicious WIFE: those are daily vitamins ME: *holding the couch over my head with one arm* I can't find the remote"

"My uncle came out of the closet yesterday"