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Joke of the Day

"This salad tastes like I'm about done with my New Year's Resolution."

"Similes are like as holes."

"In extremely rare cases women have been known to sleep with me."

"What do you call a fat Asian? moo-lan"

"Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns? The take everything, literally."

"I always like to have snacks while I surf porn. That way, I'm packing on the poundage while I'm pounding on the package."

"Winston and a Cat What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat? One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl."

"Knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""Dejav"" ""Dejav who?"" Knock knock"

"BREAKING: Hillary Clinton concedes election to Donald Trump, saying ""I just can't see how I can win after Scott Baio endorsed Trump."""

"Knock knock! 'Who's there?' 'To' 'To who' '*to whom' 'Kill yourself'"