82451

Joke of the Day

"In extremely rare cases women have been known to sleep with me."

"I thought I saw a pizza in the sexy underwear ad. ...oops, wrong subliminal"

"Why do farts smell? So that deaf people can enjoy them too."

"My friend wanted to give me a free puppy... I did not accept because their mother was a real bitch."

"Today I witnessed an amputee being hanged. I tried to save him, but yelled out all the wrong letters. (H/T Demetri Martin)"

"The McRib is back. Because you're getting new underwear for Christmas anyway."

"Internet is filled with girls crying over Zayn leaving 1D. Never knew there were so many girls in the world until yesterday."

"Horrible Valentines Chocolates Girl: Those chocolates you gave me sucked. Boy: *looks at empty box* then why'd you eat them all? Girl: I had to make sure they all sucked."

"What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him."

"Two blondes are found frozen to death at a drive-in theater. They were watching ""Closed for the Winter."""