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Joke of the Day

"I asked Luke Perry what today's date was, and he said... 9/02/10! This joke is only funny today, once in a lifetime joke! Spread the love"

"People named Thomas, your nickname isn't ""Thom"" it's Tom. ""Thom"" thounds sthupid and prethenthiuos."

"I was talking to some insects about my feet. I think they're pretty big, but mosquitos think they're bite-sized."

"Just saw a fully functional phone booth with an intact yellow pages; so, yeah, I know a thing or two about time travel."

"Knock, knock..."

"How about a baseball cap that says ""BALD"", so you can cover your gross bald head, but when you take it off no one is surprised/disappointed?"

"Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because It was eggshausted"

"Which stretches further, skin or rubber? Skin. It says in the bible, Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 10 miles."

"[First Date] Me: so can I see you again? Her: I had a nice time but I don't think so Me: *stops holding in stomach*"

"What happens in vegans stays in vegans, unless they eat fiber."