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Joke of the Day

"Which stretches further, skin or rubber? Skin. It says in the bible, Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 10 miles."

"Good thing I don't see any political posts on my news feed In fact, my Myspace friends haven't really posted much since 2010."

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound terminal and a lobster with really big boobs? One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustation! ::buh dum bum::"

"I swallowed some food coloring earlier. I think I dyed a little inside."

"TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions They may introduce a clause"

"Fun Fact: Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act because he thought it would prevent the McCallisters from leaving Kevin home alone again."

"Just found some atheist propaganda in this motel room. I opened the dresser drawer and it was empty."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting injected with tetanus."

"What's brown, black and blue and lays at the bottom of a ditch? A brunette that's told one too many blonde jokes."

"As the programmer was going to the store his wife called out We need a quart of milk and if they have eggs bring me back a dozen. He returns with 3 gallons of milk and says: ""They had eggs."""