14549
Joke of the Day
"Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal."
Next Joke
"Hello?.... Steph? Man: Can I get Steph Curry's number? Operator: 1-800-war-rior Man: I tried that, but it didn't ring"
"How do you determine the sex of a chromosome? Pull down its genes"
"They say 99% of the population is stupid... I'm glad to be a member of the other 2%!"
"What do women and hurricanes have in common? When they come, they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take the house."
"Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the 2nd one would have ducked..."
"[at funeral] My brother was so realistic and sensible. I guess you could say- *casket is lowered into the ground* -he was down to earth."
"A priests asks the convicted murderer...... A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, ""Do you have any last requests?"" ""Yes,"" replies the murderer. ""Can you please hold my hand?"""
"*hands you a marijuana* ""This one's called Air Bud. It'll make you play basketball. Also it might turn you into a golden retriever."""
"I'm so anti-social, my misery loathes company."