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Joke of the Day

"What do pedophiles and climate change deniers have in common? [NSFW] They both enjoy fucking the next generation."

"My friend told me he holds a world record in quilt making I suspect his whole story is fabricated."

"This woman walked into a bar... and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave it to her."

"What happened to the joke that insulted the mods? People laughed, because it was a good joke."

"Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms."

"What did the douchebag say to the chemist when he dropped his beaker? U mad scientist?"

"[crouches down] [rubs earth between fingers] 'The pizza went that way ..'"

"A friend tried to trip me up in an Indian restaurant, failed, and fell face first in to someone's mild chicken dish. I call it instant korma. I don't care if you like it, I can tikka or leave it."

"Dear media: There's nothing shocking about celebrities going topless, getting drunk, or falling over. nnLet me know when they read a book."

"Whom hath released the hounds? Whom? Whom? Whom? Whom?"