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Joke of the Day
"[crouches down] [rubs earth between fingers] 'The pizza went that way ..'"
Next Joke
"I met a cute deaf girl at a bar the other day... ... that bitch still hasn't returned any of my calls."
"hey pregnant lady slowly crossing the street on a green light it's a baby not a forcefield"
"How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, ""Really dude, you look huge!"""
"Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"[Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? ""Ankhesenamun"" - How do you spell that? ""Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"""
"Why does /r/fencing suck so bad? Half of it is ripostes"
"After being fired Donald Trump went to collect his last paycheck from NBC but HR wasn't sure who toupee"
"Taylor Swift seems like one of those chicks who thinks it's cute to put her bare feet on the dashboard of a car when riding shotgun."
"A teenage girl found out that she was pregnant. She thought to herself ""My mom's gonna kill me"". the newly formed embryo did the same."