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Joke of the Day
"Isn't it somewhat ironic that a woman who. hasn't been clean for years managed to die in a bath?"
Next Joke
"What did Adolf Hitler get his niece for her birthday? An easy bake oven. i don't give two shits if you heard this before or if this is a repost, this is mainly for shits and giggles =)"
"Top Four Signs of Job Security: 4. Promotions and raises 3. Specialized skills 2. Top producer 1. Compromising photos of the boss"
"Why don't prawns give to charity? Because they're shellfish."
"me: goodnight moon :) moon: night<3 me: goodnight stars :) moon: wtf me: sry wrongnumber moon: whos stars moon: who is stars moon: answer me"
"""Honey,can u make the dinner reservations for 3 instead of 2 tonight? Debby's coming"" ""We're not bring ur new chainsaw-"" ""HER NAME'S DEBBY"""
"WEIRD BUT TRUE: If you put enough granola in the tailpipe of a Prius, a Slam Poet will receive a Tote Bag from NPR."
"I know a certain right hand that is going to be getting VERY lucky tonight..."
"What did the popular astrophysicist's father say to him after his cleat came undone at soccer practice? ""Kneel in the grass and tie, son."""
"I made a joke at the US-Mexico border jajajajajajahahahaha"