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Joke of the Day

"I went to the shops to get eight cans of sprite. But when i was walking back i realized Id only picked 7 up"

"I just ate an entire bag of Werther's and now I'm 80 years old, own a floral couch, smoke Virginia Slims, got a perm and my name is Shirley."

"Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator."

"Sorry, Australia... Overheard my sister talking to my friend when this was said. Sis: ""Do they have bush babies in Australia""? Friend: ""No, but they have plenty of dead babies in the bush""."

"WAITER: Would you like any dessert? DATE: No, just the ch- ME: CHEESECAKE. Just the cheesecake."

"My gf could be a an NFL running back she will *not* go down."

"Is he sleazy? Yes. Is he disgusting? Absolutely. Did he act in a vulgar manner towards women? Certainly. But he's not running for President, his wife is."

"Judging by my handwriting possible future career choices include doctor or kindergartner."

"American beer is like making love in a canoe it's fucking close to water *Monty Python, Live at the Hollywood Bowl*"

"What is long hard and makes you cry. Your cell mate"