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Joke of the Day

"Did you know you are supposed to pull anal beads out slowly? I didn't... I started the wife up like a f*cking chainsaw."

"What is a polygon ? A dead parrot !"

"What concert tickets should cost $0.45? 50 cent feat. Nickelback :P"

"Don't Drake and drive or you'll end up at your ex's house."

"[Classroom in 2064] Student: So how did the war start? Teacher: Well you see, Seth Rogen and James Franco made a movie.."

"What's the similarity between a spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio? Now, both have an oscar."

"Radio from an American boat: Mayday, mayday. We are sinking! Radio back from a German rescue ship: What are you sinking about?"

"No thanks, granola bars with no chocolate in them"

"What do you call a criminal jazz player? Felonius Monk!"

"I don't know what ""swag"" is, but I was just told Justin Bieber & Lil Wayne both claim to have it. So, I'm assuming it's not talent."