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Joke of the Day

"One day a boy was answering all the questions right in class.... Girl: Wow, what a fucking nerd Teacher: Be nice, he might be your boss one day Boy: Nah, I don't ever plan on being a pimp"

"Being from the South, my mother was all about hospitality! Cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry and even foot rubs! She made me do it all."

"What's the difference between batman and a black man? Batman can go out without robbin"

"How many psychiatrist does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a really long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change..."

"I went to a large bookstore ... ... and asked the lady at the counter, where the self-help section was. She said if she would tell me, it would defeat the very purpose of it."

"I'm gonna win that PS4 from Taco Bell tomorrow"

"I don't want a boyfriend. Just someone to call me beautiful, love me right, and fix the clogged drain in my bathtub. Mostly the drain thing."

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was."

"Osama bin laden *ji had it coming.* - Jimmy Carr ""Big Fat Quiz 2011"""

"Veterinarian- You're here to discuss your dog's salivation? Me- No. My dog's a good dog, he'll go to Heaven! I'm here about his slobbering."