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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the pillow factory that blew up last week? There was a big panic at first, but it's all settled down now."

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"When a cop tells you to ""spread 'em"" he is not flirting. I know this now."
"CPR is a lot like church... CPR is a lot like church: you go up, down, up, down, up, down. The only difference is that you don't get snacks in CPR."
"Who doesn't like lincoln logs john wilkes blocks"
"*walks into Best Buy* *points to CDs* ""May I have 4 sound bagels please"""
"Americans lost their racism just in time... ...for this beautiful colored christmas!"
"A German man walks into a bar... and orders a Martini. The barman asks: ""Dry?"" The German replies: ""No, just one, thank you."""
"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it."
"Welcome to your 40s! Your body will do new and exciting things such as sneeze-pee, yawn-burp, and light speed chin hair growth."
"My roommate made me a copy of the mail key as if she's ever seen me pay a bill"