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Joke of the Day

"Wife leaves keys on counter with a helpful note saying ""keys"" in case I thought they were llamas."

"Sex with 3 people... Sex with 3 people is called a threesome. Sex with 2 people is called a twosome. That explains why they call you handsome."

"Did you hear about the hunter who traded a prize deer for a high class prostitute? He got the best bang for his buck"

"After you're done watching them, Netflix should let you exchange children."

"How do I stay in shape? I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it"

"what are the best sort of bees? boobies"

"Strong people don't put others down.. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum damage."

"Why can't you reveal someone's private information online while flying? Because that would be a para-dox."

"There is no way Siri could be a woman, she only speaks when she's spoken to."

"I think the only way I'll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I'm in prison."