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Joke of the Day

"I think the only way I'll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I'm in prison."

"England has no kidney bank... But it does have a Liverpool."

"Sitting outside the dentist office eating Oreos, b/c I think everyone should earn their pay."

"You might be a hipster if... Friend: Did you see that <funny cat picture> on reddit's frontpage? Me: Naah, I don't subscribe to all the big, popular subreddits."

"Sometimes I like to sit at the playground & wait for a concerned Mother to ask ""Which kid is mine?"" I like to reply ""I haven't decided yet."""

"Dang girl you're so hot because you have all the physical attributes that the general media has conditioned me to find attractive."

"Wanna hear an Ebola joke? You probably won't get it."

"I've got my own lie detector at home. I call her ""honey"".....:)"

"A schooner, a clipper and a junk sail into a bar, All hands lost."

"I was at a gas station and I accidentally filled up my escort with diesel. She died."