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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you reveal someone's private information online while flying? Because that would be a para-dox."

"TIFU when my finger tore through toilet paper while wiping. It was the most ass I'd gotten in a while."

"I once stood 2 Twix bars up. Allahu Snackbar! (It was originally ""Allahu Akbar"", but u/Disagreeing_Man made it funnier.)"

"""I love watching myself in the mirror while I shoot dope."" Said Tom in vain."

"How many bears would Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls could grill bears?"

"I don't think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work"

"I dissected a cow's eye in grade school. It was an eye-opening experience."

"My prompt email replies are 10% due to me being a diligent employee, and 90% due to the crippling OCD that compels me to clear my inbox."

"What's the difference between my basement and a Ferrari? One is filled with hookers, and the other is my basement!"

"Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues? His balk was worse than his bite!"