13757

Joke of the Day

"I heard the comedians at Jamestown were pretty bad... The punchlines were so shitty everyone died."

"[interview] What is your biggest weakness? ""Sometimes I'm too succinct"" Can you give an example? ""Yes"""

"How did pirates communicate before the internet? Pier to Pier Networking"

"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME (inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk): I thought u'd never ask"

"How are Asians and Smart Cars similar? They are yellow can they only hold small packages"

"How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch? One of his fingers is clean"

"If I had a dollar for every time a woman find me attractive... I'd have a dollar, thanks mom"

"My wife told me to take all of her clothes off last night I was so embarrassed. I really wish she'd tell me when she was coming home early"

"How do you know women don't watch porn? They all end up on Back Room Casting Couch."

"Who did the crocodiles call when they found one of their own dead? The investiGATOR"