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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my girlfriend Not fucking my best friend STACY YOU WHORE!"

"A robber went into a music store. Everybody got down."

"My (black) coworkers informed me that black people can't get lice? ""You know what else they can't get? Good jobs."" I received a write-up :("

"Cashier: Aww, you grocery shop so your wife doesn't have to? [flashback to me losing paper, rock, scissors] Me: Yeah, I'm sweet like that."

"I went to my doctor without any money and begged If you fix this diarrhea I'll do you a solid."

"In space, no one can hear your spouse chew."

"Why is Starbuck's coffee so high on the pH scale? It's the most basic drink there is."

"I don't often get suspicious,but squirrels rubbing their tiny hands together? I worry they won the lottery & hired a good hit & run attorney"

"A kid has a nightmare amd runs to his mom's room ""Moom I just wet the bed!"" he cried. ""...so did I!"" she exclaimed, quickly shutting her sock drawer."

"Researchers find a very smart blonde...."