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Joke of the Day

"Cashier: Aww, you grocery shop so your wife doesn't have to? [flashback to me losing paper, rock, scissors] Me: Yeah, I'm sweet like that."

Next Joke
 
"Old folks use to poke me at weddings and say your next so... I started doing it back to them...at funerals. "
"The only B word you should ever call a woman is beautiful Bitches love being called beautiful"
"How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They don't believe in a higher power."
"Diarrhea is hereditary In runs in the jeans"
"Your hips may not lie but your pushup bra is a sociopath."
"What's Whitney Houstons favourite kind of co-ordination? Haaand eeeeeeyeeee"
"If Hillary wins I'm moving to Benghazi at least she'll ignore me there!"
"What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick."
"Having sex while camping is so amazing it's ***In-Tents***"