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Joke of the Day

"Why did Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other."

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"One of my wishes in life is to run across the Pacific Ocean in an air tight giant hamster ball."
"Came home and my wife was having sex with some guy in our bed. I confronted her, she denied everything, but I know our bed when I see it."
"Am I the only one who wants to write ""Over"" at the end of my tweets? Over."
"what's big, black and looks good on a lawyer's neck? a doberman"
"What blood type do Canadians have? Type ""eh"""
"Batman: Use this spotlight to call me. Robin: What if it's daytime? Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*"
"What is long and hard and has cum inside of it? A Cucumber"
"My wife is like a Mermaid Below her pelvis, she smells like fish."
"Given how many times they've been screwed by hurricanes, it's time to change the name of the Virgin Islands."