144775

Joke of the Day

"I know I did a good job dressing my 3 year old when my wife doesn't have to tell everyone she sees that I dressed her."

"""You snooze, you lose."" -competitive insomniacs"

"Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your shit in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her."

"What's better than roses on a piano Tulips on an organ."

"If an apple a day keeps the doctor away how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? DO IT YOURSELF YOU FILTHY MAN!"

"On this day eleven years ago, Greece won Euro 2004. Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros."

"I have the body of a 25 year supermodel... but it takes too much space in my freezer."

"Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you."

"We were on Family Feud once.... Yea, we fought the entire time."