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Joke of the Day

"There are 2 types of people in the world: Thise who think they are superior to everyone else And inferior people"

"Even scarier than seeing a shark fin in the water is seeing a lion mane, because you know the chase isn't over once you reach land."

"What exactly had the ""NOW That's What I Call Music!"" guy been listening to before? Sound FX CDs? Whale noises?"

"If I was a doctor I would scare my patients by pretending to go check google every time they asked me a question"

"No trees were killed to send this tweet, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced."

"Just watched Die Hard 2. People in 1990 sure knew how to shrug off a plane crash."

"Hey, I'm a girl. I ignore nice guys, chase douche bags, and then complain about it"

"What do Whitney Houston and Antarctica have in common? 100% chance of snow"

"This hot weather... The thing I love most about this hot weather is the crop tops and short skirts... Although it does make me look a bit gay."

"There is a huge spider in my kitchen so I will be tweeting from on top of this table for whatever the life span of this species is."