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Joke of the Day

"It must be hard to send Barack Obama a Thank You card without sounding sarcastic."

"I invented a figure skating move. It's called 360 degree faceplant. It's like a normal faceplant, but with a twist."

"The most frustrating thing I've ever tried to do was throw away a trash can."

"What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual! Two Languages? Bilingual! Only one language? Americans~"

"How do you define an aardvark? Aan aanimal that resembles an aanteater!"

"I Went To Purchase Some Camoflauge Clothes The Other Day But I just couldn't see myself in them."

"A parliament of owls, a murder of crows, a thatsso of ravens"

"It's like my racist grandpa used to say: ""Good morning."" That unrepentant bigot had many flaws, but cordial salutations wasn't one of them."

"I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening... One of the perks of being self-employed."

"What is the nastiest bun of them all A *cinna*bun"