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Joke of the Day

"Witch Logic: I have the magical ability to turn any item into a flying vehicle. I guess I'll use that broom."

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"Pretty sure my first black friend was ""The Wire."""
"One of the lights in my bathroom is out. I look at least ten years younger."
"What should you do when push comes to shove? Learn to read. The door says ""pull""."
"What I need is to find a woman who loves me for my money ... but doesn't understand maths. - Mike Birbiglia"
"A dad walks into his daughter's room and saw her fapping with a cucumber, he said: Hey! I was going to eat that, now it's going to taste like cucumber!"
"My wife said she would come back home to me if I promised to give up my obsession with wanking on the staircase. I said, ""Okay, but can we take it one step at a time?"""
"... AND IT WORKS!!! I just invented a time travel machine..."
"What did the Cryptologist have for breakfast? Hash with alot of Salt"
"Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours? A: Put Janet Reno in charge."