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Joke of the Day

"Free admission to Disney On Ice!! Just push your knee against your eyes and you'll get to watch This Knee On Eyes."

"Everyone should thank me for not being a doctor."

"Anyone that tells you beer isn't a solution clearly didn't pay attention in science class."

"Optimus Prime partially clothed ... Semi-nude."

"Why are fat people always possessed by the devil? They never exorcise."

"Dude, your girlfriend's tits are so saggy... I bet she walked straight off of page 12 of National Geographic Magazine."

"My math teacher said I was average. How mean!"

"Why did the pharoah go to the dentist? Because egypt his tooth."

"I am... A joke !"

"Wife: Why do I have a temperature of 101.3? Me: Maybe you're pregnant? Wife: What's wrong with you? *damn you webMD, damn you."